I did not expect anything and I experienced everything. At the beginning, there are always fears and concerns of the unknown, the fear of change. We rethink a hundred times until we decide whether to go or not. Life is a change and nothing is easy. It is just about our decision. It may not even be right, but honestly what is right? It is also just the point of the view. I do not regret! I am full of impressions, experiences and emotions that will inspire and motivate me for my next moves. I will always be coming back to my Portugal life in my mind, always reminding myself the people and life I had there to remember how it felt like. We tend to remember certain moments by specific situation, music or smell, so there will be always something to bring memories alive. Because even if I will go back to visit, it never will be the same as before.
I spent 6 months in a foreign country with people I had never met before. Thanks to these people, that I could experience one of the most intense time of my life. Our paths crossed for some time, we learned from each other and then we went separated ways again, because there was time to go further for each of us. That what is beautiful about life. And also hard. Because you have to also learn how to let go and just go! Fortunately, we have the internet, so the connection will remind and we will see what future will bring to us. I was developing and working on my own professional growth, but in the end, I got much more than that. New friendships, connections, new vision and understanding of art, people, culture and the world as a globe, but especially the knowledge and understanding of myself. I feel filled and rich. Professionally and personally.
Now I will go back in time when I was about to visit Slovakia, my home, for holidays in May. There was a wedding of my best friend, I did a test and audition, I spent some time with my closest. I enjoyed it so much, it felt good and I really needed a bit distance after 4 months of trainings, creation, artistic visions and talks, but once I was again in Porto, I came with a new breath and I was very happy to be back. I knew I had not even two more months left of my „Portugal life“ so I wanted to make the best memory out of it. And here I am. Back home. This time it feels a bit different. And what is the difference? The responsibility. I am looking forward to being at home again, of course! The responsibility I talk about lies in the use of everything I have learned. Whether in my everyday life or at work. It is very important to me to remember and remind myself ideas, goals, motivations and attitudes I have, I have deepened and I have gained. I think it is very easy to fall into the routine of the previous life. By the routine I mean especially the way of thinking and understanding and also kind of comfort by doing everything the same way. It is important to implement new inspirations, not to give up, be persistent and stay with a fresh state of mind. I am looking for everything that comes.
For the whole stay, I really had many friends to visit me, which pleased me a lot. In the middle of May, Zuzka Porubcova came to the city. It was spontaneous and we ended up in Ericeira, a beautiful surfers paradise. Eventually, I tried surfing. Well, I prefer to stay with dance better. Zuzka’s company was perfect and few days off recharged my batteries. Later in June, I had a very lovely visit from Belgium. Each of my friends always taught me something new about Porto, some new places to go, so I felt also like a tourist many times with them. We climbed the bridge, rent the scooter to visit a nice beach, we went to see a performance, it was again very intense. Sometimes I even became very tired, but it was always worth it! The last visit was my very good friend Simi Machovičová. It was so nice to have her in Porto. It has been a long time since our common New York adventure, so it felt very good to be again somewhere together. I appreciate a lot I could share a bit of my Porto life with my friends. They could see the environment I had been living in, the people around me. I am very glad they were part of it for a little while.
Although it might not look like, it was also during my visits that my intensive dance program took a place. Sometimes it was more difficult mentally, sometimes physically. I have few artists, dancers and choreographers, that really inspired me and they will have a bigger impact on me. Their personalities and artistic approach how to create, how to think, what perspective is needed to see, what to try different and how to see the body, what we should be aware of..and so on. I have learned something from everyone, each week was with anyone new, so it was really many people and it is not possible to adapt to everyone. Important is to try and always do the best. So we challenge ourselves. I added to my knowledge a lot of new information, so I can link them in a good way for my own work. I tend to observe also the structure of the training, some new tools I can use in my own teaching progress as well. I feel I also have grown as a dancer and performer also. I understand my body much better, the bodies of the others, the movement quality I have, what my strength and weaknesses are, what I am interested in as a mover, dancer, teacher, choreographer, who of those are more close to me. There is always a specific time, which of those roll will be more dominant than the other. But still, they are always conditional in what I do. I am going my own direction and everything I do is a part of the process and progress. I will just add that I really enjoyed our performance we had as a final presentation. We went through many changes, ups and downs, analysis, but I think it was needed to grow. We had fun on stage, we enjoyed, we were living the moment and that is what I love about it. We were together.
Last two weeks I took my time to travel and see something more from Portugal and also digest the fact, that I am going back home and process all information and experiences. I would not be able to leave just all of the sudden. I needed my time and it was a good decision. However going back home does not mean anything else than going further. Thank you!