I finally got back to my writing. In the beginning, I thought I would have so much time that I could write an article every two weeks. Now I am glad if I write something once a month. I laugh at myself how worried I was about having so much free time. I can say until now I am handling it very well. It is always like this; we tend to have many concerns, thoughts, and expectations before and the reality is always completely different. The last month was very exhausting, but that is what it should be about.
I did not come here for a holiday. Even when it sometimes might look that way, especially from my Instagram pictures. Mostly you see just any beach and me relaxing. But these are only moments, when I have time and I feel free to take some pictures. When I was anticipating my arrival here, I had many plans. I wanted to make videos and take pictures, to make a documentation of everything. The thing is, somehow I can not concentrate on it. There are many moments I would like to capture from the classes, from the city life, from whatever I am doing, but everything is going so fast and natural, that I would need to have a go pro camera on my forehead. Anyway the best moments are collected in my memory.
I live in the present moment and I am enjoying it. It is a kind of freedom. I will live from what I am getting here for some time when I will be back.
My journey documentation is not my only „fail“. I have more. In two weeks I will do the TOEFL English test. The thing is, that I am not studying properly enough. My Portuguese life style „with a backpack in Porto“ has an impact, maybe excuse, but it is a really hard job to sit at home and study here. It seems like I am not strong enough. I should go to somewhere further north, for instance to Sweden or Finland. Maybe I would have no need to go outside and experience so many things, because of the cold weather. Of course, it is just a matter of how I am and it has nothing to do with the weather.
New country and new impulses are keeping me distracted from my studies, but I know I am still getting something valuable. And it is a life experience „with a backpack in Porto“.
Recently I went through a crisis. But it had to come after some time already. I was expecting that at some point. I started to feel useless somehow. Maybe a bit bored also. Life here is active though not as productive as my life at home. That is always my problem after some time of a break. Therefore I am looking forward to being back in full power and productive again! The other problem is looking for my own artistic identity. There are many amazing and interesting artists with whom we work. So that means I experience many different movement systems, different opinions, approaches, life and artistic visions. All that has an impact on me, of course. I always try to take from that what’s best for me and what matches with my interests. Just sometimes it is hard to shift mentally and physically from week to week. It is confusing for a brain and a body, as well. You have no time to process information properly and suddenly you have to face to a new process, new information. Some approaches of teachers are more experimental and some more physical. Both are useful. I personally prefer physicality when it comes to creation. Conceptual art does not speak to me that much. That is why I am still looking for my artistic identity, because I am used to suppressing my knowledge and my strengths and forcing myself to try something what is not natural for me in order to learn something new and challenge myself. Which is not bad; I just need to work on how to use my knowledge to support my individuality. Hopefully one day I will find it.
I will sum up briefly the last month. First two weeks we had a workshop with David Zambrano. I am very glad I got finally know him and his moving system, the philosophy behind flying low and passing through. What really amazed me was his charisma and personality. So human, such a funny and professional approach. The second week we had been working on release technique with Francesco Scavetta, which is completely different movement philosophy from Zambrano’s class. He works with as little effort in the body as possible, utilising a principle based on simultaneous active and inactive coordination, plus martial arts and task-based improvisation. I was working a lot on calmness, but I was not very successful.
Throughout the month we had been working on a site-specific project as well. It was really fun. I enjoyed it a lot, even if I have to say, that it was not an easy process at all. At the end there were two performances and I think we handled it very well. The work was intense and we were very happy with the result. After the project was done, there was a new week waiting for us with Bruno Listopad. He is based in the Netherlands. It was a bit more experimental again, but enjoyable. The first week of May started with Helder Seabra. I planned to take some day off, because I had my friend visiting, but I liked it so much, that I could not miss it. Finally, it was my style of dynamic and very physical class. This new energy recharged me. Later on, we had a coaching week, which means we had a contemporary class in the morning and then we were supposed to show our own work in progress and get some feedback and directions, where to go with it next. Right now there is a dance festival happening in Porto, so there are many performances. Some are better or worse, interesting or less interesting. I am seeing many of them, so it is really good practice to compare and see what defines my taste and how I understand and perceive what I am seeing. Everything is inspiration and motivation, even if some of them do not speak to me at all. What I really liked is a company from Belgium called Les Ballets C de la B – Nicht schlafen and the performance of France choreographer Maguy Marin – BiT.
Last month was really very intense. I was very happy about my two friends visiting from Slovakia. The first brave visitor was Michal, my very good friend from childhood. I did a guided walking tour so we burned out, destroyed our feet and legs. I was annoying him with taking pictures everywhere, but it would not even be a trip without all this experience. Later we chose a more chilled approach. Port wine at the beach, port wine by the river, port wine everywhere. I think we had really nice time. On my birthday I received another gift from Slovakia. My other very good friend Adriana came to visit me. And It started all again. Port wine, coffees, cakes, chill, relax, fun..omg! What am I teaching these people?? 🙂 We were partying till early morning, but we enjoyed it so much. Back home we are not even able to arrange a coffee, nobody has time. So we finally spent quality time here together!
Right now I am sitting at a coffee place with my funny and lovely companion Joao. We are working on our own and it feels good to be focused after such a crazy time! I am skipping some days from my program to finally write this article, study for the test at least a bit, because I feel like I am leaving my life behind regarding activities I need to do for myself. Still I know I have a rehearsal in the afternoon, I teach a class, then I go to see a performance and for sure something will be going on next days as usually. So life in Porto is not easy, but it is fun!
I am looking for my holiday in Slovakia in a few days already!